OF ALL THE DISEASES that plague mankind, loneliness is the greatest. It is a universal despair found in every culture and in every time. No one escapes the clutches of this dragon.

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Satisfying the need for love does not protect us from being lonely. In an odd way, it makes loneliness even stronger.* We try to fend it off by having lovers and friends, getting married, having childeren, joining groups, getting religion, even going shopping.

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The real tragedy of loneliness is that it is an illusion. 

People suffer terribly from this disease, even commit suicide because of it. 

Loneliness can have a very terrible impact, and the emotional disturbances: -the sadness, the anxiety, the emptiness, the isolation- are very real. But these feelings are not loneliness, they are the symptoms the anxieties of loneliness. 

They arise out of the illusions we have about ourselves and about our life.

Loneliness is not an emotional problem, so all the therapie in the world will never cure it. Therapy may help in resolving some of the anxieties of loneliness, but it can never defeat the dragon itself.

Even people with healthy relationships experience isolation and loneliness. Nor is loneliness a mental problem. 

Philosophy, higher education, science, non will protect us from the dragon. 

 

Loneliness is a spiritual problem, characterized by ignorance of the spiritual self within each and every one of us. 

When all we know is the material ego-self, when all we experience is physical sensations and mental thoughts and emotions, then we do not realize that our rightful heritage is the eternal core of our being, the spiritual self. (We can call it soul, consciousness, a spark of devine light, awareness; the name is irrelevant its only a name)

Freedom lies in the experience of this spiritual Self. 

To free ourselves from this universal misery called loneliness, we must make a spiritual journey; we must experience for ourselves, our spiritual self.

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We are not physical beings, we are spiritual beings.

Loneliness stems from a universal human reality, the ego. The ego is a powerful function within every human mind that tells us we are unique individuals. The ego's task is to create a sense of separteness, an experience of unique individuality. (I refer to this as the ego-self in this book). It is what we normally refer to as me or I, a pervasive sense of individuality locked within the bounderies of the body and mind. This is the greatest illusion of them all. We think we know who we are, and the truth is that we are not at all who we think we are. We mistakenly think we are the body and mind complex, when, in fact these are only our tools. 

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Its a widely held but false belief or idea (myth) that loneliness arise out of a need to be loved, to share love with another, this is part of the illusion.

While we must acknowledge the human need for companionship and to be loved, being loved will never solve the problem of loneliness. This need creates even greater emotional dependency, building and reinforcing weakness in the ego-self.  This, in turn, only leads to greater isolation and loneliness. 

*We do need to be loved, most particularly in childhood. Love is necessary in order to create a healthy ego, one that is capable of returning love and building healthy relationships.

*It isn't getting love that counts, but the act of loving itself. 

It is, rather, the expression and the power of our spiritual core, the mystical Self. In this loving there is no sense of personal identity, no small self to take credit.

Only through the mystical experience of being pure love will loneliness and the anxiety and fears created by the ego's sense of seperateness be completely resolved. 

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Its called "mystical" because it is beyond the mind and body, beyond the explanation of logic and the limited scope of material science. It is understood only by having the experience itself.

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We cannot avoid the trails and challanges of life, but through spiritual knollage we can transform our lives into ones of love, joy and tranquility. 

It is the mystical experience alone that brings freedom from the tyranny of our ego-imposed loneliness.

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The book says: 

We have 3 powerful tools for spiritual awakening: 

1) Prayer, the path of the heart, loosens the grip of the ego by creating a profound sense of humility and acknowledgement. Through prayer we prepare the mind for enlightenment, the mystical experience of pure love. Along with prayer, we access our inner strenght through meditation.

2) Meditation, the path of the mind. 

By refining the power of concentration through meditation, we pass through the veil of the mind and consciously experience the mystical Self. A new identity emerges from this powerful, mystical experience of Devine union, and we realize the underlying unity of all life. 

3) Contemplation, the path of the intellect. 

By refining the power of our pure intellect, we realize that life itself is nothing less than a dance of the Devine. 

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My humble unimportant view 

My idea about EGO and our typical personal problems is that: (it could be from this book but I have to read the book again first).

Between the ages of 3 and 7, our ego is formed and this forming has left deep wounds of pain.

Usually, you are disappointed by an educator and realize that you are not connected but that you are an individual.

Something that forms a heavy scar.

We all experience that (my opinion).

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The pain is difficult to overcome for 2 reasons.

Firstly, we often cannot remember the event, so we cannot tackle it simply, the pain is just below the surface.

Secondly, people tend to avoid pain and fears and as a result, it will not be tackled. The moment the pain is there people avoid it, instead of being present to it.

Following the way of the least resistance.

This creates a pattern that can take stubborn shapes and is difficult to get rid of.

But because we are all in this together, together we can gain a better understanding of our own problems while trying to tackle the problems on your own you get stuck in your own tracks.

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From the above plea, you would suspect that I am prescribing regression therapy. (I also offer this, see services) But this is not necessary from the present, everything can be solved.

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Time for change

Time to look at our own humanity together, see how much we all struggle with the same kind of problems and get stuck, or deny that there are problems.

Time to observe our own cognitions, our thoughts.

Time to let go, follow our feelings, listen to each other and (not be busy with responding to answer but) try to understand the other.

Time to get in touch with each other on a deep level.