
Integrity
The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral sincerity
Be honest with yourself / each other
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From the book: "Maybe it is you, Cut the crap, Face your fears, Love your life" from Lauren Handel Zander.
[the original text is in English, go to the English version of the site]
Lauren encourages people to be honest with yourself and others.
I believe that connection, self-expression and honesty go hand in hand.
Lauren distinguishes 7 levels of lying:
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Lie flat: This is when you lie flat. You make it up from A to Z.
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Lying by Omission: (not the whole story) This is when you don't tell someone the truth because they didn't ask! They didn't ask, so I didn't tell. But if the tables have turned, you would like to hear that.
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Lying by exaggeration: This is when you are exaggerating the truth (usually to make yourself look good).
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Lying by sub-exaggeration: We do this when we want to make things light. For example, you pretended that your student loan debt wasn't that bad because "everyone had it." When in reality you ignored the impact that hefty monthly payment had on your ability to build real wealth.
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Lying by misrepresenting a story: This is when we misrepresent what happened to make ourselves look good or better.
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Lying by avoiding confrontation / being nice: This is when you lie to avoid hurting someone's feelings.
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Lying by keeping secrets that you take with you to the grave: these are lies that are so hidden, wacky, disturbing, embarrassing and devastating to you that you will never tell anyone.
The book encourages you to think about all the lies you have ever made and to approach these people, tell them what you did to them, and apologize.
When you do this you will find "the scaredy-cat" in you. The "scaredy-cat" in you will come up with lots of excuses.
It's a brilliant system (book), best to do this with a coach or friend who can hold you accountable if your "scaredy-cat" starts to make excuses. You can hold each other accountable in this way.
to lie:
https://www.handelgroup.com/defibrilate-your-financial-future/
Having difficult conversations:
https://www.handelgroup.com/simple-steps-to-having-a-hard-conversation/
The "Lauren Handel Zander Method" is a very liberating and beautiful way of being.
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Another place for difficult conversations is:
Loodens - Reinventing Conversations
Based in the Netherlands entirely on a voluntary contribution
In unity we are strong A world that accepts you and me, including our shortcomings
Vulnerable Deeply Connected
Being vulnerable is a quality that requires bravery